In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeeds or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success

this

developing era, many people believe that living in an egalitarian society makes them more successful.

However

, others consider that individuals’ achievements depend on their own merits. In my opinion, I completely agree with the notion about equality society, and certain reasons will be given in

this

essay. The

first

thing is that egalitarian societies provide students with the same educational environment and opportunities.

Therefore

, all children from different countries in the world are able to broaden their knowledge through free schooling, and those attempting to access higher education may have a chance to study at university with scholarships or affordable fees. Indeed, these have happened in many places, particularly the remote areas, and enable the less-affluent but talent ones to continue pursuing their dreams.

Moreover

, the nation with equality minimizes the gap between the wealthy youngsters and others since the rich has approached much better education opportunities and are ready for a good job. If others have the same condition, there will be more achievements in the future. Another thing is that the community In conclusion, there is a positive relationship between equality and personal success as people may achieve more when live in

this

kind of society.

Sun Apr 12 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

200 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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