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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table illustrates the proportion of the monthly household income of five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing, and entertainment Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table illustrates the proportion of the monthly household income of five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing, and entertainment Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table shows the share of household
income
Use synonyms
 that the five European
countries
Use synonyms
 spend on
food
Use synonyms
 and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment. As you can see in the table, all 5
countries
Use synonyms
 spend most of their household
income
Use synonyms
 on
food
Use synonyms
 and drinks and housing.
France
Use synonyms
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and the United Kingdom are in the lead in
terms
Use synonyms
 of housing.
In particular
Linking Words
: UK- 37%,
Germany
Use synonyms
 - 33%,
France
Use synonyms
 - 31%.
Turkey
Use synonyms
 and
Spain
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, spend most of their
income
Use synonyms
 on
food
Use synonyms
 and drink,
Turkey
Use synonyms
 – 36%,
Spain
Use synonyms
 – 31%. “51” In
terms
Use synonyms
 of clothing, it is low in all 5
countries
Use synonyms
. Of these
countries
Use synonyms
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 leads by 15%.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 indicator,
France
Use synonyms
 and
Spain
Use synonyms
 are in the
last
Linking Words
 place,
France
Use synonyms
 – 7% and
Spain
Use synonyms
 – 8%. Respectively,
Turkey
Use synonyms
 and the United Kingdom have 12 and 11 percent . “80” In
terms
Use synonyms
 of entertainment,
Germany
Use synonyms
 is in the lead, ie 19%. And Great Britain and
Turkey
Use synonyms
 are almost half of
this
Linking Words
 figure,
in particular
Linking Words
: Great Britain – 11%,
Turkey
Use synonyms
 – 10%.
Spain
Use synonyms
 is in
second
Linking Words
 place with 15%, and
France
Use synonyms
 is in
third
Linking Words
 place with 13%. What do we understand from
this
Linking Words
 table? In conclusion,
Turkey
Use synonyms
 and
Spain
Use synonyms
 are the leaders in
food
Use synonyms
 and drinks. The UK,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 are the leaders in housing
income
Use synonyms
 in five European
countries
Use synonyms
. “26” In
terms
Use synonyms
 of clothing and entertainment,
Germany
Use synonyms
 is at the forefront.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in particular".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, countries, food, france, germany, terms, turkey, spain with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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