For many, shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others. People, however, in the past mostly visited those when necessary. To what extent do you think this is a negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Shopping
malls
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provide a good place for many
people
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to spend their free
time
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is quite different from old times, when the sole purpose of shopping
malls
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was shopping. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
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change using real-life examples to support arguments. Shopping
malls
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have become an important part of our modern society. Many
people
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go there not just to shop, but
also
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for many other reasons. Shopping
malls
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provide much more than just selling goods. They provide a much more convenient and friendlier environment than an ordinary shop
at
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on
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the corner of the street. These days, shopping
malls
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have famous restaurants inside them, where
people
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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enjoy their food with their loved ones. Not only
this
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, kids' sections are
also
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allocated by the shopping
malls
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, where children can enjoy and play
while
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their parents are busy shopping.
People
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also
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visit shopping
malls
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even if they don't have anything to buy, so they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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spare
Verb problem
spend
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their
time
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window shopping.
However
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, in the past, the shopping
malls
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' only purpose was to sell products. Shopping
malls
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in the old times were not very big, and the facilities were
also
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not enough.
For example
Linking Words
, there were kids' sections in there, and it would be hugely difficult for parents to shop with their children. Though there were many shopping
malls
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
that
time
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Rephrase
apply
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also
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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they were not considered a place where one could
socialize
Use the right word
socialise
show examples
. In summary, today's shopping
malls
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provide
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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more facilities
besides
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just shopping than the shopping
malls
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in the old times.
Therefore
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, shopping
malls
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have gained more importance
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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people
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visit them even just for leisure
time
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. After a detailed analysis, I am in favour of
this
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new trend of visiting shopping
malls
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for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment.

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task
State a clear answer to the task at once and keep to that view in the whole essay.
task
Give two to three clear reasons and a short example for each to show your point.
coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas, like also, but, however, for example.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form; aim for simple, short sentences to avoid mistakes.
content
The piece shows a idea that malls give more then shop time.
structure
Shows a plan in order with an introduction, body, and ending.
vocabulary
Some good examples are used, like restaurants and kids’ areas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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