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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #habits #age #group #factors
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understanding
Suggestion
the understanding
 of some people, the
age
Use synonyms
 people belong is the most effective factor which
compose
Suggestion
composes
 the way of their consuming
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 when they go shopping. I hold that
this
Linking Words
 is an internal reason amongst others;
however
Linking Words
, there are external elements which should be considered. At the outset, there are internal elements
such
Linking Words
 as
age
Use synonyms
 group, education and health which create
consumers
Suggestion
consumer
consumers'
 habits. Preferring to buy in the morning,
gray
of an achromatic color of any lightness intermediate between the extremes of white and black
grey
 hairs;
for example
Linking Words
, are tending to go to the markets themselves in the morning. Attracting to more efficient goods, educated individuals, which already are studying at universities, are buying their daily needs among goods which include discount and for whom the health is their priority, walking through streets are not
deficiency
Suggestion
deficient
.
Hence
Linking Words
, while the
age
Use synonyms
 people have, there are other internal factors which build
consumers
Suggestion
consumer
consumers'
 habits.
However
Linking Words
, there are external factors like advertisements which play pivotal role in altering daily shopping habits and in many cases alter them.
In
Suggestion
On
this
Linking Words
 wonderful day and
age
Use synonyms
, employing wise and most effective way for advertising, markets;
for example
Linking Words
, are allocating their time and money to online marketing via the Internet. Not only do they make use of sites and apps
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook and YouTube in which
people
Suggestion
peoples'
person's
peoples
interest but
Accept comma addition
interest, but
also
Linking Words
 they are making advertisements wisely due to the fact that they have
crucial role
Suggestion
a crucial role
 in changing nation's habits. So, sometimes
this
Linking Words
 external factor
alter
Suggestion
alters
 the habits of people in terms of shopping and change their propensities despite their
age
Use synonyms
. To sum up, I deem that
although
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
age which
Accept comma addition
age, which
 people
are belonging
Suggestion
belong
 to is impacting their shopping
habits there
Accept comma addition
habits, there
 are other internal and external elements which are
substituting
Suggestion
substituted
 habits of buying.
Submitted by shahabi1981 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • digital natives
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • target demographic
  • disposable income
  • consumer behavior
  • market segmentation
  • purchasing power
  • retail therapy
  • brand loyalty
  • impulse buying
  • price-sensitive
  • cross-generational
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