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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart shows the proportion of tutors
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both genders in various educational systems in the UK in 2010. As can be seen, the chart can be divided into two groups which are the schooldays and after
schooldays
Correct your spelling
school days
show examples
. In the first group,
women
Use synonyms
 had more percentages than
men
Use synonyms
, but it decreased slowly from the kindergarten era to elementary school,
however
Linking Words
, for high school, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 decreased and for the
men
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically.
Although
Linking Words
 in college both genders had equal fractions, in the Private training institute and university the situation was
disparate
Correct your spelling
desperate
show examples
. In the Private training institute,
men
Use synonyms
 had more percentage than
women
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 gap became more in the university
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 40
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. Totally,
this
Linking Words
 chart shows both sexes hired in the educational system which can be seen at the
pre-school
Correct your spelling
preschool
show examples
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 is top with too much difference but in the university system it changed and
men
Use synonyms
 became more.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender distribution
  • educational setting
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • nursery school
  • higher education
  • proportion
  • outnumber
  • trend
  • comparison
  • historical factors
  • social influence
  • teaching profession
  • data interpretation
  • balance
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