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Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers do not help children learn more effectively. On the contrary, the use of computer's has a negative effect on children's physical and mental development. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

#computers #children #computer #effect #development
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In the 21st century, it is obviously difficult to assess the contribution of computers to young people. While some people take the position that computers not only reduce the productivity of
learning but
Accept comma addition
learning, but
also
Linking Words
 jeopardise physical as well as
psychological growth
Suggestion
the psychological growth
 of a child, I am convinced that
computer
Use synonyms
's effectiveness depends on the way children utilize. On the one hand, if a child is taught to use
computer
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 functions properly, it will, admittedly, offer certain merits
for
Suggestion
of
 learning procedure.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, thanks to advances in
computer
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 technology, people from all walks of life will have a feasible opportunity to access orthodox education without the fear of physical factors,
such
Linking Words
 as geographical distance, which has been hard in the days before - if not impossible. Not to mention that learning through
computer
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, without doubt, ensures flexible studying hours. To make it clear, unlike limited time in conventional courses, people of all ages are able to cover learning materials at their own pace.
This
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, apparently, acts as a contributor
to their
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to, their
 passion for learning.
On the other hand
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, it is inevitable that the dark sides of over-
reliant
Suggestion
reliance
relying
 on computers are even more tangible to children's physical and mental process. To commence with, in terms of physical health, those who are long-time heavy
computer
Use synonyms
 users are prone to obesity resulting from
lasping
a failure to maintain a higher state
lapsing
leaping
 into
sedentary lifestyle
Suggestion
a sedentary lifestyle
 that they only look fixedly at
Use synonyms
computer's screen
Suggestion
the computer's screen
.
In other words
Linking Words
, these youngsters will suffer serious loss of vision, back pain and so forth if they do not reduce the
dependance
the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else
dependence
 on
computer
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 devices.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, unbridled use of computers, for all intends and purposes, exerts lethal impacts on children's communal lifestyle which has been scientifically proven that
computer
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 users have a proclivity for social isolation by virtue of their in default of real interaction and a sense of community. Taking into those above-mentioned characteristics, one can conclude that the influence of computers in modern days
virtually rely
Suggestion
virtually relies
 on each person's approach,
this
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 can
brought
Suggestion
bring
 both positive and negative aspects to children's development. Thereof, moderation is the key.
Submitted by danglannhi6 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Multisensory experience
  • Retention
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Cognitive development
  • Pedagogy
  • Digital literacy
  • Screen time
  • Interactive software
  • Online platforms
  • Physical health
  • Attention span
  • Social interaction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Mental health
  • Addiction
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