It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. Do you agree or disagree?

Generally speaking, satisfaction at work, in terms of enjoyment, can be subjective. It deals with various emotions related to physical and mental
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.
Hence
, some
people
argue that it is better to be unemployed than
otherwise
.
However
, I disagree with the statement as I see even greater issues related to joblessness. In
this
essay, I shall explain the reasons for my disagreement and provide a few examples as required.
To begin
with, employment rate is one of the key pillars of the modern economy, and it dovetails into many essential sectors linked to systems that support humans. As the number of
people
leaving the workforce
raises
Correct your spelling
rises
show examples
, citing reasons related to happiness, the
overall
support system dilutes.
Therefore
, it is crucial for concerned bodies to address any
such
issues rather than allowing
people
to withdraw from
jobs
Correct pronoun usage
their jobs
show examples
. In Finland,
for example
, the government collects anonymous feedback from its citizens so that it can address any
such
concerns.
Next,
on the other hand
, it is fair to recommend
people
to quit if they are unhappy with their gigs. As everything
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
profession
Correct article usage
the profession
show examples
funnels down to the
overall
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
rather than just a monetary benefit. Having said, that it is relatively harder to obtain financial independence than mental pleasure. Henceforth, it should be dealt with using other factors than just encouraging to quit.
For instance
, Singapore spends about ten
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
of their GDP to reskill
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens so that they can continue to work in the field of their interest. In conclusion, as explained above, it is simply not easy to allow
people
to be unemployed rather than addressing the core issues that lead to
this
situation.
Hence
, I disagree with the given statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and recommend a completely different approach to boost happiness at work.
Submitted by chaitanyak19 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay provides a clear response to the given prompt, expressing disagreement with the statement in a well-structured manner. The argument is logical and coherent, but could benefit from more depth and nuance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas are well-organized and linked, but some points could be further developed for stronger cohesion. Additionally, providing more specific examples and details would enhance the overall coherence.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
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  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
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  • economic
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  • international consensus
  • legal
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