IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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It is argued that parents whose
children
Use synonyms
 are receiving private education should be exempt from paying taxes which contributes to
advance
Replace the word
advancing
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 education system. Personally, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view. Obviously, sending their
children
Use synonyms
 to private
school
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 is not reasonable for
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
 to have a
tax
Use synonyms
 exemption on their family. Administrative procedures
on
Change preposition
for
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 calculating and refunding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
educational
tax
Use synonyms
 are
such
Linking Words
 a laborious process that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has to mobilize many
Change preposition
of their
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 well-experienced
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 to manage those tasks.
For instance
Linking Words
, governments have collected total taxes to fund their budget and
then
Linking Words
, they give a suitable allocation to each field
according to
Linking Words
 a strict set of criteria, which makes
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 difficult to accurately separate
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of money that they are going to invest in public
school
Use synonyms
 from the total.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tax
Use synonyms
 is an undeniable duty of each citizen, not many of whom may
never
Correct your spelling
ever
show examples
 use it, though, they still take responsibility to pay a certain amount of
tax
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the fact that people get
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
show examples
 ahead of time does not mean that they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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pay money to maintain the GPS network.
Besides
Linking Words
, state-owned
school
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 is a public good which is a right that individuals have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to avail and they can choose to give it up, which is their personal choice but taxation is obligatory.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
tax
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 payment of both families of
children
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 studying at private and public schools acts as a fundamental step to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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sustainable
Correct article usage
the sustainable
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 development of society. If parents of
children
Use synonyms
 attending a private
school
Use synonyms
 are allowed to have
Use synonyms
tax-free
Add an article
a tax-free
show examples
 policy, there will be a huge imbalance in government revenue and
this
Linking Words
 could lead to a negative effect on the schooling's quality .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the poor finding it difficult to send their offspring even to public
school
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 because of having a limited income, now, are facing to financial burden to fill the gap that
causes
Wrong verb form
is caused
show examples
 by the rich who send their offspring to private
school
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 and have no need to pay
tax
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I think that
tax
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-free for families putting their pupils into private
school
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 system should not be implemented because all citizens must
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their responsibility of paying
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and help strengthen
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
schooling
Correct article usage
the schooling
show examples
 system to bring equal educational opportunities for students.
Submitted by thuytrannguyenthanh on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: