IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

goverenment should spend more money on education that on recration and sports. do you agree or disagree

#goverenment #money #education #recration #sports
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it
Suggestion
It
 is argued that countries should spend, allocate more funds to
education
Use synonyms
 than to leisure and competitive games.
it
Suggestion
It
 is argued that national budgets should prioritise schools
ans
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 universities over sports and plays.
Linking Words
this
Suggestion
This
 essay discusses
firstly
Linking Words
 the economic benefits,
education
Use synonyms
 can bring a nation and
secondly
Linking Words
, the
socail
relating to human society and its members
social
 benefits, followed by
conclusion
Suggestion
a conclusion
conclusions
.
investment
Suggestion
Investment
 in it
education
Use synonyms
 system is one of the best ways to improve a country's economy in the long term. The more students entering
third
Linking Words
 level
eduction
the activities of educating or instructing; activities that impart knowledge or skill
education
, more skilled a workforce will be and
this
Linking Words
 lead to higher innovation and productivity,
for example
Linking Words
 South Korea and Finland, took the decision to
invets
make an investment
invest
infects
 a large proportion of the budget
in
Suggestion
on
education
Use synonyms
 and that has reaped benefits in the form of Samson and Nokia.
However
Linking Words
, people cannot work hard all the time and these companies do provide leisure facilities for their workers.
Use synonyms
education
Suggestion
Education
 is not just about improving the economy, it has many social benefits. Well educated people watch out drugs, alcohol and sexual health. Despite
this
Linking Words
, sports can
also
Linking Words
 teach children valuable skill,
such
Linking Words
 as teamwork and work ethic which cure social.
in
Suggestion
In
 conclusion,
education
Use synonyms
 must precede over sports, when it comes to funding.
it
Suggestion
It
 is recommended that governments continue to pump money into schools and universities in order to realise long-term goals.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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