Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion.

#people #computer #games #children

In the 20th century, a bunch of new electronic devices

have been invented

Suggestion

has been invented

to meet humankind ‘s need. One of them that plays an indispensable role in people ‘s daily life is called the computer.

However

, computers have pros and cons.

Initially

, computers have the same functions as mobile phones or tablets, they can help us to keep in touch with our families, friends, relatives by using social networks like

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

, Instagram or Twitter,….

Morepver

in addition

Moreover

, you can

also

strike up a new relationship with other people online.

Secondly

, students and undergraduate can receive their homework from their teachers via

mail box

Suggestion

the mail box

such

as email or gmail when they can not join

school

Suggestion

the school

For instance

, nowadays, the corona virus has just

outbroken so

Accept comma addition

heartbroken, so

heartbroken so

they can use computers to do their

homeworks

Suggestion

homework

in an easier way.

Last

but not least

Accept space

computers provide us entertainments like

wathching

the act of observing; taking a patient look

watching

films or play online video games. But some of the students have abused these means of entertaining

for

Suggestion

a huge degree which result in their addiction, their decline in learning scores.

For example

, some students and their friends skip

classes

Suggestion

class

to go to video game stations or some female students may stay awake all night long to watch their

favorite

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

movie. In conclusion,

computer

Suggestion

the computer

is an excellent

computer but

Accept comma addition

computer, but

we must consider our ways of using it and make it

Suggestion

useful device in our life.

Tue Apr 14 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

227 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?