The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend

Over the
last
ten years, western societies have seen close to a 20% rise in the number of
children
who are overweight.
This
essay will discuss some reasons why
this
has occurred and examine the consequences of
this
worrying trend. The main cause of
this
problem is poor diet. Over the
last
decade
Add a comma
decade,
show examples
there has been a prolific increase in the number of fast
food
restaurants.
For example
, on nearly every high street there is a MacDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut. The
food
in these places has been proven to be very unhealthy, and much of the advertising is targeted at
children
,
thus
ensuring that they constitute the bulk of the customers of these establishments.
However
, it is not only
due to
eating out, but
also
the type of diet many
children
have at home. A lot of
food
consumed is processed
food
, especially with regards to ready-made meals which are a quick and easy option for parents who are working hard. The effects of
this
have been and will continue to be very serious.
Firstly
, there has been a large increase in
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
diseases
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
children
, especially diabetes.
This
debilitating illness means a child has to be injected with insulin for the rest of their life. Not only
this
, very overweight
children
often experience bullying from other
children
, which may affect their mental health. The negative stigma of being overweight may
also
affect
selfesteem
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
self esteem
.
To sum up
, it is evident that there are several causes of obesity
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and a variety of negative effects. Society must ensure steps are taken to prevent
this
problem from deteriorating
further
.
Submitted by shirley.jane08 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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