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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Linking Words
According to the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 bar chart illustrated, it shows the
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
teachers
Use synonyms
 by gender male and female in some different types of educational
settings
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 in the UK in 2010. There are six types of educational
settings
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, including
nursery
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/pre-
school
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, primary
school
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, secondary
school
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, college,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private training institute and
university
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. As it is obvious from the bar chart, the
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percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of women is decreasing
while
Linking Words
 the education levels are going higher from pre-
school
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of male
teachers
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 completely
vise-versa
Change the spelling
vice-versa
show examples
 where the
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percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
pre-
Correct your spelling
preschool
show examples
school
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 is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the lowest and it is the highest for
university
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 matched. For three educational
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settings
Add a comma
,settings
show examples
 the
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percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of female
teachers
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than 50 rate which includes
nursery
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/pre-
school
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, primary
school
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 and secondary
school
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 and the
percentage
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 of college is equal to male
teachers
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 around 50 interest.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private training institution and
university
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 educational
settings
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 are having fewer female
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 less than 50
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a few male
teachers
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 are playing a role in the
nursery
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/pre-
school
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 level compared to female ones which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 around 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The primary
school
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also
Linking Words
 is showing that the
percentage
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 of male
teachers
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 lower than 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for the secondary
school
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, college and private training
institute
Add a comma
,institute
show examples
 the
percentage
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 of male
teachers
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 around 45, 50 and 55
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of male
teachers
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for
Change preposition
at
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 level is the highest around 70
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart shows that higher educational
settings
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 are more male-dominated.
However
Linking Words
, women have a significant presence
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
nursery
Use synonyms
/
pre-
Correct your spelling
preschool
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 level.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent, teachers, settings, nursery, school, university, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • educational settings
  • primary
  • secondary
  • tertiary
  • adult education
  • vocational training
  • private tutoring
  • disparity
  • dominate
  • majority
  • minority
  • gender distribution
  • workforce
  • trend
  • ratio
  • comparative analysis
  • significant difference
  • visual representation
  • data interpretation
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