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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table reveals,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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data about the six underground railway systems in six cities around the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the sizes of these systems vary
according to
Linking Words
 the different cities. It is important to note that,
London
Use synonyms
 has not only the oldest
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
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kilometres
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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subway systems.
In
Correct your spelling
It
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 opened in 1863, but
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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this
Linking Words
system
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 lesser than
Use synonyms
Paris
Change preposition
in Paris
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. It has only 775
visitors
Use synonyms
 per year as compared to
Paris
Use synonyms
. The underground
system
Use synonyms
 of
Paris
Use synonyms
 has the
second
Linking Words
 largest
number
Use synonyms
 of
kilometres
Use synonyms
. It has almost half
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of
kilometres
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to
London
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. The underground
system
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 started in Tokyo in 1927. It has the highest
number
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 of passengers, but
kilometres
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 are lesser than
Paris
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 and
London
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. It has only 155
kms
Correct your spelling
km
 than 394 in
London
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. In the case of Washington, DC, the
kilometres
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 of the route
are
Change the verb form
is
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 higher as compared to the
number
Use synonyms
 of passengers. It has 126 km, but
visitor
Correct article usage
the visitor
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number
Use synonyms
 is only 144,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is drastically lower than
Paris
Use synonyms
 and Tokyo. Kyoto has not only the smallest
number
Use synonyms
 of routes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the less
numbernumber
Correct your spelling
number number
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 as well. The km of
route
Add an article
the route
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 is only 11 and only 45
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 visit
this
Linking Words
system
Use synonyms
 per annum.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the latest subway
system
Use synonyms
 started in 2001 in La Angeles. It has
lesser
Correct article usage
a lesser
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number
Use synonyms
 of
kms
Correct your spelling
km
expect
Correct your spelling
except
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 Kyoto. It is only 28.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, kilometres, number, visitors, system, paris with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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