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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparisons
The table reveals,
the
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apply
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data about the six underground railway systems in six cities around the world.
Overall
, it can be seen that
,
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 the sizes of these systems vary
according to
 the different cities. It is important to note that,
London
 has not only the oldest
,
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 but
also
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
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kilometres
 of
the
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subway systems.
In
Correct your spelling
It
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 opened in 1863, but
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
visitors
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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this
system
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 lesser than
Paris
Change preposition
in Paris
show examples
. It has only 775
visitors
 per year as compared to
Paris
. The underground
system
 of
Paris
 has the
second
 largest
number
 of
kilometres
. It has almost half
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
kilometres
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
London
. The underground
system
 started in Tokyo in 1927. It has the highest
number
 of passengers, but
kilometres
 are lesser than
Paris
 and
London
. It has only 155
kms
Correct your spelling
km
 than 394 in
London
. In the case of Washington, DC, the
kilometres
 of the route
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 higher as compared to the
number
 of passengers. It has 126 km, but
visitor
Correct article usage
the visitor
show examples
number
 is only 144,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is drastically lower than
Paris
 and Tokyo. Kyoto has not only the smallest
number
 of routes
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
 the less
numbernumber
Correct your spelling
number number
 of
visitors
 as well. The km of
route
Add an article
the route
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 is only 11 and only 45
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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visitors
 visit
this
system
 per annum.
On the other hand
, the latest subway
system
 started in 2001 in La Angeles. It has
lesser
Correct article usage
a lesser
show examples
number
 of
kms
Correct your spelling
km
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 Kyoto. It is only 28.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, kilometres, number, visitors, system, paris with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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