IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
leisure
time
 in a typical week in
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 enjoyed by males and females of different employment
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 between 2012 and 2013.
It is clear that
 most of the employment
status
 of males enjoyed
leisure
time
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females.
Overall
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 three type of
status
 that are employed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
, unemployed, and retired show that the number of
leisure
time
 enjoyed by
men
 were slightly more than
women
 with above 40
hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full
time
 of
men
, and about 80
hours
 in unemployed and retired of
men
. Other than that, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 two
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
status
 that are employed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 and housewives show that the amount of
leisure
time
 enjoyed by
women
 were more than the
men
 with 40
hours
 in employed in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
 and 50
hours
 in housewives of
women
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are no
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
enjoyed
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoyed
show examples
leisure
time
 in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of employment
status
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure, time, status, men, women, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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