IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

some people think children spending time on tv video and pc games is good while other think it is bad discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #time #tv #video #pc #games
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The wave of modernization has reached every nook and corner of all over the world.The dream of global village becomes true.Now days, There are many innovative video and gadgets invented by human in present scenario.So
,
Accept space
,
Man enjoys the fruit of every invention and discoveries.There are some people ponder that children spend much
time
Use synonyms
 on TV
,
Accept space
,
video games.I disagree with that opinion because it depends upon the children that how much
time
Use synonyms
 should be spent with them on these types of gadgets.
Linking Words
first
preceding all others in time or space or degree
First
 and foremost
,
Accept space
,
There have been multifarious advantageous.By using TV and computer children should get lots of information related to any field,
thusthus
the sensation that results when taste buds in the tongue and throat convey information about the chemical composition of a soluble stimulus
tastes
thus thus
tests
 they should not wait for the newspaper
.
Accept space
.
They just swipe TV channels for news and programme.Futhermore
,
Accept space
,
video games
also
Linking Words
 increase the intellectual power of children. Even though
,
Accept space
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
some
time
Use synonyms
 children spend much
time
Use synonyms
 within these gadgets
thus
Linking Words
 they have lack of physical exercise
.
Accept space
.
In a previous century
,
Accept space
,
lack of these
innovation
Suggestion
innovations
 mostly people spends much
time
Use synonyms
 with friends
,
Accept space
,
 family and
Linking Words
also perform
Suggestion
also performs
is also performing
 physical exercise. In recapitulat
e
Accept space
,
,The detrimental effects can be mitigated by parents if they should follow some stringent restriction and allocated limited
time
Use synonyms
 to children for these activities
Submitted by kandajot7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: