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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given pies illustrate the average
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added sugars
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taken in four main
meals
Use synonyms
, which
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
 overconsumption might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 health.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and fat were frequently eaten at dinner,
while
Linking Words
 most
sugar
Change to a plural noun
sugars
show examples
 was found in snacks. Lunch and breakfast tended to be having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower percentages of all three nutrients than other
meals
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
According to the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 percentages of
sodium
Use synonyms
 occupied 43% higher than saturated fat by 6% in the evening
meals
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 compared to snack times, the distance between those was virtually equal.
Moreover
Linking Words
, If both of these nutrients are compared during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Lunchtime, there is a tiny higher proportion between them in
luchtime
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
.
However
Linking Words
, in the morning
meals
Use synonyms
, the consumption of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat was 14% and 16% respectively, which was almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 in snacks, except that the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 saturated fat was 21% In terms of added sugar, more than 40% of
this
Linking Words
 nutrient are from snacks, which nearly doubles the figure for dinner at 23% and nearly 3 times higher than for the breakfast at 16. Like other nutrients, breakfast and lunch always maintain
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a stable zone, which is under 16% and 29% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, meals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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