1. The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services

It is often argued that

government

should allocate a vast majority of its

budget

on public services

instead

of spending its

budget

on arts, music, theatre.

Although

government

Suggestion

the government

should finance the public service that have

significant effect

Suggestion

a significant effect

society

, I think

proper funding

Suggestion

the proper funding

of arts, theatre is

also

crucial for cultural development

Accept space

On one hand

Accept space

spending a lot of money on the cultural services

such

as school, medicine, is so beneficial as these economic sectors determine the overall quality of life. Spending a vast majority of

budget

on services which have favourable effects on

society

’s life should be

first priority

Suggestion

the first priority

government’s policy

Suggestion

the government’s policy

. Public service

satisfy

Suggestion

satisfies

primary needs of

society

Accept comma addition

society, thus

thus

needs proper funds.

For instance

, artists, musicians are not curing diseases, building

mesmerizing skyscraper

Suggestion

mesmerizing skyscrapers

a mesmerizing skyscraper

in the city. Any country can live without theatre, museums or

entertainments

Suggestion

entertainment

program but

Accept comma addition

program, but

absence of medicine

Accept space

school

Suggestion

the school

can have detrimental effect which may lead to dispiriting experiences in the future. So

Accept space

government

adequately finance public services which play significant role in the human’s and

society

life.

On the other hand

Accept space

such

kind of amusement tools can’t be neglected on behalf of people’s mental physical health.

Firstly

theaters

a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented

theatres

and museums are mediums through which help people to relieve their stress and relax their body and mind.

Also

, paintings or architecture reflects our feelings and emotions

Accept space

somehow stimulate our body to

defence

Suggestion

defend

against our negativity inside.

Morever

in addition

Moreover

, watching movie, looking masterpiece in museum are

common way

Suggestion

a common way

common ways

the common way

of relaxation and entertainment. In conclusion, though I agree

government

should allocate a large part of its

budget

for urgent needs of

society

, I think music, theatres should be financed since they play an important role in

society

and peoples relaxation time.

Submitted by ulker.allahverdiyeva.96 on Wed Apr 15 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
public services
economic benefits
mental health
well-being
equitable access
creativity
innovation
prioritize
essential services
healthcare
education
tourism
global recognition
holistic development
mutually exclusive
philanthropy
subsidize
infrastructure
socio-economic status
altruistic
civic engagement
aesthetics
civic pride
utilitarian

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. Do you agree or disagree?
The private lives of political leaders should not be depicted in the news reports. I totally agree with this testimonial because it has an adverse effect on their career and family members.
6.5
band
The best for the government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport per day, 7 day a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
People believe that the most convenient solution to prevent traffic jams is to provide public transportation for free so that every person can easily use it every single day. I strongly disagree with this idea as I think that this is not the best solution for this issue.
7.5
band
Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Some hold the idea that the ubiquity of social media houses is a major disadvantage, as it blurs the line between various countries, leading to a presumable loss of cultural identity. Nevertheless, in my opinion, the merits of homogenisation outnumber the drawbacks. Not only does digitisation instil a feeling of unity amongst the population, but also it brings numerous people living in foreign countries together while eliminating the feeling of being a stranger.
6
band
Some people believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The significance of education has been highlighted over the past decades. From this aspect, some opine that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers, but others hold the view that money for education would be better spent on teachers. This essay will discuss both views and then my personal opinion will be suggested.
5.5
band
In many countries traditional food is being replaced by fast food. Some claim that this has negative effects on both families and societies. Do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary world, it is common for people to purchase fast food rather than traditional food. I believe it is a damaging change as numerous negative effects have been discovered in recent years.

1. The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. Do you agree or disagree?

The best for the government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport per day, 7 day a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by fast food. Some claim that this has negative effects on both families and societies. Do you agree or disagree?