IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries, government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. What are the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion.

#countries #government #prioritizes #growth #concerns
It is argued in some nations that state-law gives priority to economic growth on top of other concerns. While the main advantage of
this
 approach is better living standards, I believe that it can affect the
health
 and
environment
. Industrialization is one of the priorities in some countries to help boost the economy. Investing in industries will open a wide range of job employment, and more people will have a stable income.
Also
, industries will increase the country's GDP, making the country more economically stable. Aside from that, people will have a high average income that enables them to purchase consumer goods and services and a better lifestyle.
For example
, Singapore has the most stable economy and higher salary rate in Asia because of the huge revenue from the shipping industry.
However
, I believe that people's
health
 and the preservation of the
environment
 are equally important.
However
, focusing on industrialization as a mechanism for economic growth can affect the people's
health
 and can lead to environmental destruction.
This
 means that the pollution coming from industries are
health
 hazards and
also
 it destroys the eco-system.
As a result
, many people suffer from lung diseases and other life-threatening sicknesses because of air pollution and lead contamination in the rivers and watersheds.
For example
, the Department of Mineral Resources in the Philippines reported that 90% of lead contamination in the watersheds are coming from mining industries.
Therefore
, people are severely suffering from multiple sicknesses related to the lungs and brain.
However
, I believe that increased revenue from industries should support
health
 and maintain an eco-friendly
environment
. In conclusion,
although
 industrialization helps boost economic growth and living standards while supporting the
health
 of the people and preserving the natural beauty of the
environment
 should be considered.
Submitted by caseres.a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: