IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that internet has brought people closer while others believe that people and communities became more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #internet #communities
People hold different views about whether
internet
 enables people to make a strong relationship or lead people to become insulated. In my opinion, I consider that
internet
 has a useful effect on the
communication
 of people. On the one hand, devoting a lot of time to
internet
such
 as playing games can be addictive. They get used to be alone and they have not enthusiasm to join some social activities or interact with other people. Another convincing argument is that people do not need other people due to some
internet
 websites.
For example
, nowadays online opportunities
such
 as shopping and even job are preferred by
vast majority
Suggestion
the vast majority
 of people. They tend to stay at home and remote everything from it.
As a result
, they become isolated from society because of
lack
Suggestion
the lack
 of
communication
 skill.
On the other hand
, I
also
 share the idea of those who consider that
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 provides good chances to make easy and faster
communication
 between people. People can contact with their family or friends who have
long distance
Suggestion
a long distance
 from them whenever they want.
Therefore
internet
 strengthens bonds among people.
Additionally
, via global platforms
such
 as Instagram and Facebook people can make a new friend who has a lot in common even from other countries via
Internet
. In conclusion,
although
 a group of people believe that
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 causes people to become separated from
community
Suggestion
the community
, I side with those who consider that
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 plays a pivotal role in
communication
 of people.
Submitted by nuridesirinzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: