Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People hold different views about whether children are highly affected by television and friends or family. In my opinion, I consider that family has more influence on children and both arguments will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. On the one hand, children can broaden their
outlooks
Suggestion
outlook
by technological developments
such
Linking Words
as televisions. By watching different TV programs
such
Linking Words
as science or about
development
Suggestion
developing
countries’
cultures children
Accept comma addition
cultures, children
can acquire more knowledge and they can have very well
worldview
involving the entire earth; not limited or provincial in scope
worldwide
. Another very convincing argument is that friends can easily motivate and understand their peers more than family. They get suggestions or advice from each other because they have almost similar minds and feelings.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
share the idea of those who consider that family plays a pivotal role in children’s mental or physical development. Parents or siblings are more familiar with children’s
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
or characters due to strong family bond.
Linking Words
Therefore they
Accept comma addition
Therefore, they
can easily help children to choose
right way
Suggestion
the right way
a right way
in their predicament.
Moreover
Linking Words
, family always pays attention to children’s education and motivates them to buckle down.
As a result
Linking Words
, children will become a rich and socially influential person in the future. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
a group of people believe that television or friends are the main parts influencing a child’s development, I side with those who consider that family’s role is more important.
Submitted by nuridesirinzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: