IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings, some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

#scientist #computers #beings #people #development #points
It is certainly true, that in today's
texh
a school teaching mechanical and industrial arts and the applied sciences
tech
-savvy world machines like computers develop day by day and
one
 day it will become more powerful than humans
,
Accept space
,
therefore
 some people think it has fruitful outcomes
,
Accept space
,
whereas others believe that it is a negative
development
. In my opinion, I believe that
although
development
Suggestion
the development
 of computers has some negative effects, overall
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 benefit to the whole universe.
Hence
, both the sides are discussed
further
. On the
one
 hand, it is considered by some that intelligence of computers will become more in the future.
One
 key benefit of it is that, with the help of computers we can do our work quickly and efficiently.
Also
 computer
give
Suggestion
gives
 any answers
accurately
Suggestion
accurate
.
Hence
,
Accept space
,
there are less chances or even no chances of any mistakes.
Moreover
,
one
 can calculate why large calculations in computers. It is
also
 less time consuming, we can get
answer
Suggestion
answers
 in a
second
.
On the other hand
, it is argued by some that
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
computer
Suggestion
computers
the computer
 has negative impacts. As they believe
,
Accept space
,
in future many people will lose their jobs because of the computer's intelligence.
For example
, if an individual does not have any knowledge of how to operate computers,
than
subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)
then
 he will not get the particular job.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
it may create unemployment.
Furthermore
, humans rely on computers more and do their work more on it
,
Accept space
,
as a
result sometimes
Accept comma addition
result, sometimes
one
 can forget how to do simple calculations by manually. In conclusion, despite
some
one or some or every or all without specification
any
 negative
development
 of
computers
Suggestion
computational
computer
 intelligence, I believe that growth of computers will be more beneficial to the universe in nearer future.
Submitted by nabila1107sheikh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: