The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.
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The line graphs illustrate data about monthly expenditure on
Childs
Change the noun form
child
show examples
sports by Britain guardians and how many kids participate in three different games held between
between
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
2008 to 2014.
Overall
, the amount of money increases with the passage of time.
Football
has a greater number of participants than
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
and swimming games. There is some fluctuation seen in
football
and athlete
while
swimming has steadily increased in peak. The guardians start spending
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
pounds
monthly on their child in 2008, reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25
pounds
per month
at the end
of the year 2010. Onward
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
2011 the amount was still becoming elevated and crosses almost 30
pounds
. In 2014 per month
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
fee was more than 30
pounds
. The numbers of children in 2008 in swimming and athlete were less than 2.5 million,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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football
was above 7.5 million. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
pass
Replace the word
passed
show examples
, there was
slightly
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
rising in numbers in a
football
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
with half or one million same with
case
Add an article
the case
show examples
of swimmers,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
a dramatic rise is observed in athletes almost
double
Wrong verb form
doubling
show examples
in numbers
at the end
of time.
Submitted by sheen.pharmacist on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words football, pounds with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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