IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the stages in the food production chain of the United States. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the stages in the food production chain of the United States. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given diagram illustrates how food is manufactured in the United States of America
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a man-made process and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 six important steps in the proceeding beginning with the delivery of the cow and ending with cooked food being served at home, in restaurants or
buffets
Change preposition
in buffets
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.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
beginning
Add a comma
,beginning
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 they
delivery
Replace the word
delivered
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 the cow by ship to the production area and kept
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 a nearby farm for storage and feeding. The step continues when the cow is examined for food safety procedures in the processing building and
butcher
Correct article usage
the butcher
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making
Wrong verb form
makes
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 the raw meat. The beef is cut into each department And different sizes. After that, they classify and packed
according to
Linking Words
 the desired packing standard. Following the step
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the packet of meat products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 placed in
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
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 building reading for delivery. From here, the trailer truck transports the beef products to the restaurant and retail store.
Then
Linking Words
 the chef,
as well as
Linking Words
 the home cook prepares
cuisine
Correct article usage
the cuisine
show examples
. The final step, the delicious meat of beef is served in the family meals and to the customer of restaurants.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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