IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #arts #paintings #music #waste #money #government #services
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays person's life is busy and stressful. For the relaxation purpose they pursue some activities like painting, singing, dancing and so on. Some people argue that
government
Use synonyms
 should not have to support arts like painting and music while, others believe that
government
Use synonyms
 should have to invest money on the public facilities. I opine those who say that
government
Use synonyms
 invest money on public services. There are ample reasons supporting
this
Linking Words
 argument.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
government
Use synonyms
 should invest huge amount of money healthcare, better transportation, infrastructure, educational institutions and so forth. They
also
Linking Words
 argue that investing enormous amounts of cash on
such
Linking Words
 amenities
government
Use synonyms
 can boost their economy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, every individual has a right to assess basic facilities like food, home and drinking water.
For instance
Linking Words
, many countries' populations are not getting their basic facilities due to
government
Use synonyms
 invest heavily on entertainment, defence budget, research and development.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, by doing
such
Linking Words
 developments,
government
Use synonyms
 can improve standard quality of life of the nation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people argue that arts like painting, singing, dancing are the way to express artists internet and talent. They
also
Linking Words
 add that without
such
Linking Words
 leisure activity a man become workaholic and live under stress. By doing
such
Linking Words
 activities people can balance between work and personal life.
Also
Linking Words
, millions of artists are getting their bread and butter from the entertainment industry. In conclusion, I admit that leisure activities indeed useful in relation and stress booster, but I strongly believe that
government
Use synonyms
first
Linking Words
 focus on basic facilities to access every individual in the nation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: