IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graphs illustrate information about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
train
Use synonyms
 commuters and the
trains
Use synonyms
 running on
time
Use synonyms
 in Sydney over
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 nine
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,the number of
train
Use synonyms
 users
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 an increasing trend in the period shown except
2002
Change preposition
for 2002
show examples
 and 2003
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fluctuation in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
trains
Use synonyms
 arriving on
time
Use synonyms
. In
1995
Change the article
the 1995
show examples
 year,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 exactly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
250 commuters utilized
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
train
Use synonyms
 transportation . From 1996 to 199 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose slowly and consisted
over
Change preposition
of over
show examples
 260 passengers .
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
next
Linking Words
 two
years
Use synonyms
 the amount of
train
Use synonyms
 commuters increased significantly and reached a peak of
train
Use synonyms
 users exactly 300. In the
last
Linking Words
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 it depicted
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend and roughly 280 people
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used the
train
Use synonyms
 in 2004. Turning to the
trains
Use synonyms
 arriving on
time
Use synonyms
 ,over 90
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of
trains
Use synonyms
 reached their destination on
time
Use synonyms
 . But it was more decreasing on the
trains
Use synonyms
 schedule despite
small
Correct article usage
the small
show examples
 upwards. In 1997 it consisted
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 86
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
and going to the 2004 year over 70
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of
trains
Use synonyms
 followed their schedule.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words train, trains, time, years, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • passenger volume
  • trend
  • peak times
  • off-peak times
  • punctuality
  • infrastructure
  • correlation
  • traffic
  • delays
  • satisfaction
  • efficiency
  • transportation system
  • reliability
  • urban mobility
  • capacity
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