Women will play an increasingly important role at workplace in future. But this may disturb their family lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
will play an increasingly important role at
the Change preposition
in
workplaces
in the future. Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
Although
many people
argue that this
may disturb their family lives, I strongly disagree with this
argument.
On the one hand, there are several reasons that the number of women
, which
are occupying the job positions Fix the agreement mistake
who
are
increasing. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Firstly
, with the
proper and balanced education, Correct article usage
a
women
improve their qualifications. Thus
, they are able to do the same task
as Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
men
for many work
orders. For example
, in the past, many positions such
as management positions were dedicated for
Change preposition
to
men
only, but nowadays it is shared with both gender
and in some cases Fix the agreement mistake
genders
women
outweigh the men
. Secondly
, many duties need especial
Correct your spelling
special
patient
to carry out the task. Since Replace the word
patience
women
are more patient than men
, they can do the job more accurately. Finally
, owing to human rights, society
Add an article
a society
willing
to give a balanced opportunity to Add a missing verb
is willing
the
both genders.
Remove the article
apply
On the other hand
, traditionally, women
work
at and men
work
out of the house. However
, many men
are still opposing women
to be a breadwinner, but in the
modern society, it should be shared between Correct article usage
apply
men
and women
. Moreover
, apart from delivering a child, women
have special abilities which cannot be found in men
. Secondly
, as women
have Correct article usage
the rights
rights
to study and discover their abilities, Fix the agreement mistake
right
people
in public soon realize that women
can have as many talents as men
, and can do the job as well as
men
. Women’s
ability to study and acquire academic knowledge is undeniably very good; they can be teachers, masters, or even professors. Although
many people
still consider women’s
place to be in the kitchen and house, women’s
appearances at office
and in business are now appreciated, because Add an article
the office
women’s
performances in daily work
have proved their ability; they can be good employees or intelligent bosses even in jobs previously for men
.
In short, people
are inclined not to consider others based on gender, but on talents, and task performances, thus
women’s
role in public and the workplace will be enhanced gradually in the future, as they posses
as many talents as Correct your spelling
possess
men
and can work
excellently as men
. Furthermore
, women
worldwide is
protected under the law, and their rights are ensured; nobody can degrade their role without facing law-related punishments.Change the verb form
are
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task response
Ensure that the main points are well-supported with adequate explanations and examples. Make sure to address all aspects of the task prompt in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and linking phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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