In many places today, rapid lifestyle changes are affecting family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is widely believed that fast changes in
common way
Suggestion
the common way
a common way
of living influence family. I hold the view that there are more advantages because
such
lifestyle bring prospects. Admittedly, some people claim that the world is developing
fast forcing
Accept comma addition
fast, forcing
people to speed up and carry much workload.
In other words
, to earn enough money for
family
Suggestion
the family
families
, parents nowadays ought to take more responsibilities and come through much hardship.
This
causes
stress which
Accept comma addition
stress, which
inevitably influences family relations.
For example
, in nuclear
families parents
Accept comma addition
families, parents
are constantly busy at work,
therefore
, they are not aware of their children’s life and cannot support them in difficult situations.
Moreover
, fast development comes with a fierce competition involving people in a rat race to survive.
Consequently
, parents feel an enormous pressure affecting every part of family life.
Nevertheless
, I believe that dynamic way of
live
Suggestion
life
might
also
bring new occupations and opportunities
to
Suggestion
in
the labour market. Being a blogger is one of the most vivid examples to illustrate
such
a trend.
This
job requires a fast reaction to a changing world in order to attract attention and gain reaction from
public
Suggestion
the public
. In return, a blogger might be contacted by large
corporates
Suggestion
corporations
corporate
with promising offers on
promotion
Suggestion
promotional
campaigns. As a consequence, one could become famous and earn a fortune in a short period of time and be able to provide better financial support for the family. In conclusion, I believe that dynamic way of living is more beneficial to the family relations due to promising opportunities it brings.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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