Topic 01. It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#topic #crime #violence #media #reason #growth #rate #offer #situation

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

However

, it isn’t impossible to have

feasible solution

Suggestion

a feasible solution

to that problem.

First

, all the contents must be undergone thorough censorship process before being allowed to broadcast on television or post on social media. In fact, It will lessen the contact with bad content of the juvenile, especially teenagers, which reduces the

rate

of crimes in the future.

Second

, if the government imposes strict and severe punishments to drug trafficking, the crime

rate

of juvenile delinquency would be

lower considerably

Suggestion

considerably lower

lower considerable

lower considerable considerable

For example

, those drug dealers and buyers would be sent

Suggestion

prison and stood

social

Suggestion

socially

isolated, which acts as deterrent for everyone in society. In conclusion, by identifying the reasons why the juvenile crime increases continuously. In order to minimize the crime

rate

there are various measures for families, government as well as society to control the growth in the

rate

of juvenile delinquency.

Submitted by nguyenthuyhien.11498 on Tue Apr 21 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

143 words

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Topic 01. It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.