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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The reasons leading the global area degradation are illustrated in the pie chart, which is followed by a table providing a breakdown of data
upon
Change preposition
on
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 the influence of those causes on three areas of the world, including North America, Europe and Oceania in the 1990s. All figures are measured in percentage.
Overall
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, it is clear from the first graph that both over-grazing and deforestation were
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 main culprits reducing ground productivity.
As a consequence
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, Europe had been affected the most severely
in
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by
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 soil degradation during the 1990s. Looking at the pie chart, 35% of the total tract
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 degraded by over-grazing, which was followed by 30% deforested. Over-cultivation was
also
Linking Words
 responsible for the reduction in quality of 28% of soil,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
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 other factors were not
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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significant factors.
According to
Linking Words
 data from the table, the proportion of infertile soil in Europe reached nearly a quarter of
total
Add an article
the total
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 continent area.
Whereas
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, the figure in Oceania was nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half;
however
Linking Words
, it was suffering the biggest impact from over-grazing.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only 5%
unproductive
Change preposition
of unproductive
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 estate made North America became the least affected region
among
Change preposition
of
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three
Correct article usage
the three
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 areas in the year of 1990s.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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