Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important? Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #job #love #factors

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Some people believe as a human being, having a satisfactory job can bring a happiness to them in

life

Use synonyms

because they can earn

money

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from it.

However

Linking Words

, other factors are essential that play a role either. I think, people

cannot

Suggestion

can not

only feel delighted just because having an enjoyable

careers

Suggestion

career

. In spite of

this

Linking Words

, mental

health

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and living in a good condition are

such

Linking Words

bless

Suggestion

blessed

that could make people

satisfy

Suggestion

satisfied

Suggestion

with

their

life

Use synonyms

. Very few people want to live to work because it is the only thing that they can earn a

money

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from.

In addition

Linking Words

, people determine to work hard and extra shifted in order to get an extra

incomes

Suggestion

income

This

Linking Words

profits could provide them to purchase an expensive

meterials

Suggestion

material

materials

and stuffs

such

Linking Words

as houses, cars and food supplies.

Consequently

Linking Words

, people could satisfy to live a

life

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because they can afford to have a

things

Suggestion

thing

what they wish for.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, mental

health

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and healthy condition are vital in human's lives. These factors are the medicine that

money

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could not buy people's happiness. People wish to have a healthy

life

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without too much pressure and any serious diseases to live longer.

For instance

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, if we live with

cancer so

Accept comma addition

cancer, so

how can

surrounding

Suggestion

surround

people feel happy.

This

Linking Words

is the reason that people feel

bless

Suggestion

blessed

blesses

of having a good

health

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In addition

Linking Words

, living in a good condition that has stunning and natural landscapes

also

Linking Words

make people feel peaceful. There is no air pollution that can affect to

health

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problem.

Consequently

Linking Words

, having a healthy land to plant a

fruits

Suggestion

fruit

and vegetables that are natural resources and adapt

life

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to live peacefully. These are the mainly factors that

peole

(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively

people

survive to achieve the real peace of mind and enjoy well-being. To sum up, having a fantastic job in hand is not the only happy pill that many people wish for, but they could earn

money

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in order to purchase their satisfactory products so that they feel happy with it.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, living in a good environment and have a healthy

life

Use synonyms

are very important in

human being

Suggestion

human beings

the human being

Therfore

Suggestion

Therefore

, people feel cheerful, optimistic and

blessful

completely happy and contented

blissful

because they could afford both

money

Use synonyms

and other essential factors in

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by chanraksaprak11 on Wed Apr 22 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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