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Writing Samples
Band 4

Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now?" Give your opinion in no less than 250 words.

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There’s no denying how important a
role
Use synonyms
 the
mother
Use synonyms
 plays in the upbringing of her children. But torn by modern economics, mothers are leaving home for professional practice, raising the question “
who
Capitalize word
Who
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 now takes care of the children?” In my belief, though, all efforts to replace the proverbial
mother
Use synonyms
 are destined to be futile. Observing
Nature
Use synonyms
, scientifically or
other wise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
show examples
, tells us that being a
mother
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, if it were a social
role
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, is ideally possible by the
child bearing
Correct your spelling
childbearing
show examples
 female and others may only be nurses or patrons. The physiological and psychological exclusiveness of the
mother
Use synonyms
 means all the other social entities and all the greatness of
science
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 and civilization can only supplement, and never replace, her part in the upbringing of children.
Any one
Correct your spelling
Anyone
show examples
 else trying to don her
role
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 is simply unnatural. But of
course
Add a comma
course,
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 there is
opinion
Correct article usage
an opinion
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in
Change the preposition
on
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 the contrary
also
Linking Words
. Modern
science
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 flaunts its
age old
Add a hyphen
age-old
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practice of replicating
nature
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 and natural processes. Now more than ever humans and their society are evolving frequently against the tide of
Nature
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, and civilization sustains
this
Linking Words
 evolution.
Such
Linking Words
 evolution has
also
Linking Words
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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 the socio-economic distinction of men and women. Now in the
industry
Add a comma
industry,
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 women are producing as much as men do. So “women are better off in the house” is no longer true.
While
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 human evolution is true and should morally be supported, going against
Mother
Use synonyms
Nature
Use synonyms
, when we’re clearly not in a position to, is immoral.
Science
Use synonyms
 has not yet found a biological and psycho-social alternative for the natural
mother
Use synonyms
. And
while
Linking Words
 gender equality is great, it never means
fusion
Correct article usage
a fusion
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 of the two poles of our species. I don’t believe
science
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 never has strived to eliminate sex because it is simply impracticable. So men and women, so uniformly productive as they recently are, don’t have to utilize their worth
in
Change preposition
at
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 the same end of civilization. If one person, or sex, is naturally gifted to play a special and vital
role
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, it is her duty to thrive in it. I
therefore
Linking Words
 conclude that in a child’s
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 its
mother
Use synonyms
 is irreplaceable, and,
hence
Linking Words
, it is she who should rear her ch

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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