Many Teenagers now have their own smartphone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion

Nowadays,
smartphone
Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
show examples
is being owned by many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adolescents.
While
overuse of
smartphone result
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones results
show examples
in
teens
Change noun form
teens'
teen's
show examples
poor performance in
education
, I believe that these electronic devices help in younger
ones
Change noun form
ones'
one's
show examples
safety. The main benefit of using a
smartphone
by boys and girls is that they provide safety.
This
is to say that there are several applications
such
as
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
,
viber
Change the capitalization
Viber
show examples
,
track
Correct word choice
and track
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
are
Correct word choice
and are
show examples
few of them which are not only used for video calling or chatting, but can
also
be used for sharing their location. So that parents can track their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
location and can alert emergency services or police
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
show examples
if something goes wrong.
For example
,
California
Correct article usage
the California
show examples
police department in a report said that they were able to
crackdown
Correct your spelling
crack down
show examples
50
Change preposition
on 50
show examples
% of missing cases with the help of the location shared with their parents. In my opinion, younger ones should be given access to a
smartphone
as they are helpful in
safegaurding
Correct your spelling
safeguarding
them. Overuse of a
smartphone
by youth means they are likely to perform
poor
Change the word
poorly
show examples
in
education
. There are several applications that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
give endless fun and entertainment to them. So they will get addicted to these electronic devices
thus
spending extended
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
of time using them,
As a result
, they have poor educational performance.
For instance
, a research study by the Department of
Education
in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
found that 70% of students who failed in their
last
year
Change noun form
year's
show examples
grade were spending about 8 to 10
hrs
Correct your spelling
hours
show examples
of their daily time on operating
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. I believe that,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
they have drawbacks, their impact on
childer
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
can
be lessen
Change the verb form
be lessened
show examples
by giving them limited access to devices
such
as
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhones
.
To conclude
,
although
too much use of a
smartphone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on younger
ones
Change noun form
ones'
one's
show examples
education
, they
also
provide safety to them which is much needed
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
anyone so they should be given access to use them.
Submitted by atlavijay464 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed, including advantages, disadvantages, and personal opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and organized structure throughout the essay, utilizing linking words and phrases to connect ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: