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Writing Samples
Band 4

A lot of people are suffering from loneliness these days. They lack of physical fitness. What do you think are the reason of this problem? Can you think of possible solutions?

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Past few decades have seen a dramatic change in
old
Suggestion
an old age home
age
Use synonyms
 home due to lack of communication and lack of closeness among family members. Old people
now a days
the period of time that is happening now; any continuous stretch of time including the moment of speech
nowadays
 are facing loneliness and
also
Linking Words
 they are weak as well as unfit
.
Accept space
.
 In
this
Linking Words
 following essay I aim to identify some causes of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 and some viable solutions. The significant reason of the
problem
Use synonyms
 is
nuclear family
Suggestion
the nuclear family
a nuclear family
. The trend of living in
nuclear family
Suggestion
nuclear families
a nuclear family
the nuclear family
 is increasing
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
 moderately. People prefer independent life and
can not
can not
cannot
 tolerate any kind of
boundation
Suggestion
 in their personal matter so they try to maintain distance along theirs grandparents and elder
one
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Retirement is
also
Linking Words
 a reason, after getting
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 people loss
theri
of them or themselves
their
 network of friends, they feel lonely and isolate. Somewhere they found
themself
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
 as a burden on family because that time they unable to do any work and face financial
problem
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with passing
Use synonyms
age they
Accept comma addition
age, they
 not able to talk and listen to someone because of
age
Use synonyms
 factor and their weak body. No
one
Use synonyms
 available
of
Suggestion
to
 look after them in their own family who can give them food on time
.
Accept space
.
 They think freedom has been lost and become
overthink
all things
everything
this
Linking Words
 cause they suffer from stress and other physical issues. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, people should have to change their thoughts about nuclear family and they can choose to joint family. Time and attention should be given
.
Accept space
.
 They have to keep in mind and never forget that
one
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 will be
came
Suggestion
coming
 when they
also
Linking Words
 face with
same time
Suggestion
the same time
 and
age
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
 Change matters a lot so we should change ourself
Linking Words
first
Accept comma addition
first, then
then
Linking Words
 stop treating them as a burden and start treating them as a head and most significant member of
family
Suggestion
the family
 In gist, we all are responsible for that because we are adopting
wester
a film about life in the western United States during the period of exploration and development
Western
western
 culture. If it goes on,
then
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 we will
also
Linking Words
 find themselves in
oldage
Suggestion
old age
 home and suffer with
same
Suggestion
the same problem
problem
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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