IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people think that students who achieve the best academic results should be rewarded. others believe it is more important to reward students who show improvement. discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #students #results #reward #show #improvement
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some argue that pupils who reach the topmost ranks in examinations should be honoured while, others say that it is more imperative to admire the students who
show
Use synonyms
 positive progression in their performances. I personally agree with the former notion because rewarding the best results opens more opportunities for students to flourish their capabilities even though commending pupils who acquire some degree of improvement encourages to
work
Use synonyms
 hard.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most of the children are motivated to perform better when their improvements get a better recognition. In fact,
such
Linking Words
 rewards generate a positive attitude and an incentive in the majority of students who are at low level to augment their dedication to
work
Use synonyms
 hard. For an example, granting commended reports to children who
show
Use synonyms
 positive progression in their academic performance in the primary schools of Sri Lanka has resulted a decline in the rate of exam failure among children during recent past.
However
Linking Words
, my personal perspective is that rewarding the pupils who merely
show
Use synonyms
 improvement is not fair by the students who achieve the best outcome.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, students who acquire the top results in examinations need to be honoured for their dedication, hard
work
Use synonyms
 and
brilliantly
Suggestion
brilliance
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, highlighting unique talents through rewarding, allows students to receive more opportunities in the future to utilize their capabilities. For an instance, students who win the gold medals for their performance in the final examination of universities in the UK are offered to join with the academic staff of respective faculties.
Hence
Linking Words
, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because commending the best performance is reasonable and justifiable. In conclusion, admiring pupils who
show
Use synonyms
 improvement in the education promotes them to
work
Use synonyms
 hard.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is more crucial to reward the students who do best in order to bring recognition to their excellence and opportunities to their capabilities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: