All school children should be given a free laptop when they start high school

#school #children #laptop

It is recommended that a free

laptop

should be provided to all the

children

as they begin high

school

. The following essay agrees with

this

statement because using a

laptop

at high

school

encourages logical thinking and creativity. The skill to think logically is an essential talent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

computer

programming can nurture. The

computer

programming will enable and/or provide the

children

the opportunity to use logic to put the steps in order, thereby improving their capabilities.

Also

, as the

children

begin to see why programming works, they begin to see how technology works.

For example

, when comparing the

children

high

Change preposition

in high

show examples

school

that are exposed to

computer

programming with those that are not, it can be concluded that those

children

exposed to

computer

programming are enhanced to think logically than those that were not exposed to

computer

programming. Having a free

laptop

motivates the

children

to be creative in

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

as well as

accessing information online. Since being creative allows the

children

to see things differently, they can be able to develop a new different process that may enable them to solve problems.

This

might possibly lead them

in finding

Change preposition

to find

show examples

the easiest way to solve problems rather than using the supposed long conventional approach.

For instance

, the

children

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

have access to laptops have a greater chance of engaging in various online learning activities that

aids

Change the verb form

aid

show examples

in their education. In conclusion, the above essay agrees that a free

laptop

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

as they start high

school

is essential. The

laptop

permits them to develop their logical thinking through

computer

programming

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

also

allows them to be creative in learning efficient ways to resolve problems.

Thu Apr 23 2020

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task response

The essay adequately addresses the task, but some points could be further developed to provide a more thorough response. Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are fully addressed.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is generally well-maintained, but some areas could benefit from clearer transitions and connections between ideas. Ensure that the progression of ideas is easy to follow for the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All school children should be given a free laptop when they start high school

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

More and more plastic waste is polluting cities, countrysides and oceans on the world. What problems does it cause? What are the solutions?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do vou agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree on disagree ?