IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to some people, only those who have demanding hobbies can have fun. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 point of view. In my opinion, a
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

hobby whether
Accept comma addition
hobby, whether
 it is relaxing or challenging can be pleasurable and people usually choose their
hobby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 based on their personal skills and interest. On the one hand, some people find it more enjoyable when they spend their leisure time doing easy hobbies that are more relaxed
,
Accept space
,
rather than complicated. One example of an activity
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 easy for most people is swimming
.
Accept space
.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
hobby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive I remember learning to swim
at
Suggestion
in
 my home town’s river when I was
child
Suggestion
a child
, and I never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another
hobby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that I find easy and fun is drawing. In my opinion, anyone can draw interesting pictures of comic
heros
a man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength
heroes
hero
 without knowing too much about the drawing. Despite being a bit difficult, drawing is a satisfying activity.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Accept space
,
 teaching language to children is a
hobby
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case
,
Accept space
,
 it took me around ten years before when I start going to school, there were times when she
thaught
impart skills or knowledge to
taught
thought
 us passionately. I believe that many hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and feeling of achievement is greater. In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and enjoyable, but difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable for different reasons

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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