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Band 2.5

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government founding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
I tend to agree that preventing health problems and illness could be
important
Suggestion
more important
 than treatment and medicine. Everybody hope that
are being
Suggestion
is being
 healthy and do not want to
disease
. In spite of the fact, bodily function is going to drop with age, unfortunately it is
fact
Suggestion
a fact
.
Therefore along
Accept comma addition
Therefore, along
 with that you may need
take
Suggestion
to take
 a medication in some cases. Medication help
disease
 and progress in medicine day by day, solved many
disease
Suggestion
diseases
. You will be able to know
early
Suggestion
earlier
 about your health problems if you have by the medical examination. Nowadays, the study of medicine is
also
 advancing,
development
Suggestion
developing
 a vaccine, more precise inspection. Plenty of
disease
are solved
Suggestion
is solved
 or recovered because of medical technology.
However
, every medication
have
Suggestion
has
 side effects.
Moreover
, taking many medications
burden
Suggestion
burdens
 on your organ,
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 liver and it is sick of you. Preventing health problem and illness remain your QOL and if you are well-being, your mentality is
also
 healthy. I think keep living the same since you were well is the best way
for
Suggestion
of
 spending life. If the government
reflect
Suggestion
reflects
to
being one more than one
two
 people that they will be known more extent. You cannot avoid
that
is dropping
Accept comma addition
is, dropping
 gradually bodily function. You should try to care of your body by yourself, it is making high in QOL, both the side of bodily and the side of mentality for your future until die.
Submitted by amour.une.fleur10 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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