IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#money #time
Money and recreation
time
 play an imperative role in everyone's life. According to the given statement, having much money and shortage of past-
time
 is better
instead
 of less finances and having much spare -
time
.
This
 essay will analyse both the standpoints and put forth the personal opinion in the ensuing paragraphs. To commence with
disscusion
freedom to act or judge on one's own
discretion
 in the
first
 view, there are many negative aspects rather than the Positive ones. In the favour of negative one,
first
 and foremost is that frantic schedule because both the partners are working
,
Accept space
,
they do not much
time
 to spend with their family members because they spend
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of
time
 at work place.Apart from
this
, it's increase less family bonding between family and friends.
Secondly
, there are many
heath
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
 hazards inclined day by day because employees spend
time
 sitting at working place
,
Accept space
,
 they do not enough
time
 spend with
yourself with
Accept comma addition
yourself, with
 different activities
such
 as gym, jogging, running and countless more.
On the other hand
, positive point more money is better education facilities, better
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 and so on. On the
filp
lightly throw to see which side comes up
flip
flop
 side, there are many advantages rather than the disadvantage.
people
Suggestion
People
 have much spare
time
 spending with near and dear ones. People have
opportunity
Suggestion
the opportunity
an opportunity
 to learn new skills like
forigen
of concern to or concerning the affairs of other nations (other than your own)
foreign
 languages, cooking, shopping, and so on. Moving ahead, people have
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of
time
 spend with physical fitness with different activities
such
 as outdoor as well as indoor activities.
In contrast
, there are many negative impact on young minds. People are
incalting
be a signal for or a symptom of
indicating
including
 bad habits like crime related, murder, theft and
count less
too numerous to be counted
countless
 more. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that both aspects are
equal
Suggestion
equally
 important role
play
Suggestion
played
 in
individuals
Suggestion
individual's
individual
 life. According to personal estimation, joint efforts have a better solution to solve
monotous
rountine
an unvarying or habitual method or procedure
routine
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: