IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 issue seems to be caused by a combination of
factories but
Accept comma addition
factors, but
factors but
 I personally believed that the most important of which is the rural areas do not have enough both job opportunities and educational facilities. The majority of people in the countryside are self-employed in agriculture and farming.
With
Suggestion
By
 changing the climate conditions their productivity and financial security are overwhelmingly affected.
Also
Linking Words
, only very rarely do the countryside have a high standard in the educational systems,
for instance
Linking Words
, if they want to continue their education to a higher degree they have to
immigrate
leave one's country of residence for a new one
emigrate
 to the cities thanks to the fact that the number of universities is tremendously low.
Thus
Linking Words
, these causes might be a direct result of immigration.
Although
Linking Words
 rural-urban immigration can prove to be advantages from an individual's perspective, it can be the root of some problems that lie in cities. Having a large population leads to pressure on natural resources and
also
Linking Words
 services like education.
This
Linking Words
 needs much money because the government has to dedicate more budget to these sections.
For instance
Linking Words
, agriculture industries face a big problem when the farmer
leave
Suggestion
leaves
 their job and they have to spend much more money on an artificial farming method.
Besides
Linking Words
. Immigrations directly affect the
cities
Suggestion
city's
city
 economy.
Submitted by mi.karafarin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: