Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

It is often said that the youth of today should frequently engage in cultural activities
such
as music and theatre rather than sport. Personally, I partially agree with
view
Suggestion
the view
, as now will be discussed. On the one hand, I agree that participation of today’s youth in cultural activities can be seen as beneficial for their mental health. Cultural engagement may give many young people an effective way to take their mind off stressful situations.
Thus
, it could help their chances of stress and anxiety reduction.
In addition
, they are likely to experience an intense feeling of relaxation and happiness that comes after participating in a cultural activity. Watching a play at the
theater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
,
for example
, may allow
young audience
Suggestion
the young audience
a young audience
to ease their mind as they often get so involved in it that they tend to forget about all the problems they are currently faced with and see how the story unfold, which could leave them feeling relaxed afterwards.
(
Accept space
(
In my view, it is necessary for young people to take part in cultural activities since
this
could benefit their mind)
Nevertheless
, I believe that regular sport participation is just as important to the youth as
cultural
Suggestion
culturally
engagement since it could be advantageous to their physical health. Playing sports could allow many young people to stay in shape as well as have more energy at work or school, which may help increase their productivity.
For instance
, since taking up swimming and badminton a year ago, I have felt so stronger and healthier than ever before that I have managed to stay productive and survive working long hours.
In addition
, compared to those with low levels of physical activity, physically active people are more likely to maintain a healthy weight.
Thus
, they would be able to prevent themselves from some life-threatening diseases, namely heart disease, obesity, diabetes, stroke, and high blood pressure. In conclusion, while cultural activities are necessary for young people’s mental health, I feel that taking part in sports should not be neglected for the sake of their physical fitness.
Submitted by tuanhutech1985 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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