IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less.

#people #drinks #drink
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These days a
lot
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 of
sugar
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-based drinks are consumed by consumers.
Moreover
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, some people are
sugar
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drink
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 addicts.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay will discuss what are the reasons why people love drinking
sugar
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 drinks.
In addition
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,
this
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 essay will find out what are the solutions to make people
drink
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 less. There are many reasons why people
drink
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 a
lot
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 of
sugar
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 drinks. One of the many reasons is the
consumption
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 of a
lot
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 of
sugar
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 drinks become
sugar
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 addiction. Many children love
sugar
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 taste because many households consume a
lot
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 of
sugar
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.
Although
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 the
consumption
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 of
sugar
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 drinks has many unhealthy issues
such
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 as diabetes and obesity, many households don’t stop consuming it. Another reason is that the
consumption
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 of
sugar
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 drinks gives much energy. Some people
drink
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 it when they are feeling tired, they believe it helps to refresh.
Moreover
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, many advertisements make people believe that
sugar
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 drinks give much energy.
As a result
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, people who take in a
lot
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 of
sugar
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 for a long time become a patient because of
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sugar
Suggestion
the sugar
. Many researchers are studying the behaviour of the
sugar
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drink
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consumption
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 of the people. One of the factors, which lead the solutions to reduce a number of the
sugar
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consumption
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 of people, is the use of
sugar
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 from fruits
instead
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 of
sugar
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. If a
drink
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 industry sold drinks that make from fruits, costumers would
drink
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 less
sugar
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 drinks.
As a result
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, the
consumption
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 of
sugar
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drink
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 of fruits makes people have more choices to consume for
sugar
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 avoidance. In conclusion, if customers have more alternative drinks, which is the same taste as
sugar
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, to consume, they would choose the best one.
Submitted by palmdotax on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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