IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less.

#people #drinks #drink
These days a
lot
 of
sugar
-based drinks are consumed by consumers.
Moreover
, some people are
sugar
drink
 addicts.
Therefore
,
this
 essay will discuss what are the reasons why people love drinking
sugar
 drinks.
In addition
,
this
 essay will find out what are the solutions to make people
drink
 less. There are many reasons why people
drink
 a
lot
 of
sugar
 drinks. One of the many reasons is the
consumption
 of a
lot
 of
sugar
 drinks become
sugar
 addiction. Many children love
sugar
 taste because many households consume a
lot
 of
sugar
.
Although
 the
consumption
 of
sugar
 drinks has many unhealthy issues
such
 as diabetes and obesity, many households don’t stop consuming it. Another reason is that the
consumption
 of
sugar
 drinks gives much energy. Some people
drink
 it when they are feeling tired, they believe it helps to refresh.
Moreover
, many advertisements make people believe that
sugar
 drinks give much energy.
As a result
, people who take in a
lot
 of
sugar
 for a long time become a patient because of
sugar
Suggestion
the sugar
. Many researchers are studying the behaviour of the
sugar
drink
consumption
 of the people. One of the factors, which lead the solutions to reduce a number of the
sugar
consumption
 of people, is the use of
sugar
 from fruits
instead
 of
sugar
. If a
drink
 industry sold drinks that make from fruits, costumers would
drink
 less
sugar
 drinks.
As a result
, the
consumption
 of
sugar
drink
 of fruits makes people have more choices to consume for
sugar
 avoidance. In conclusion, if customers have more alternative drinks, which is the same taste as
sugar
, to consume, they would choose the best one.
Submitted by palmdotax on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: