IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why it is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#countries #people #move #part #country #retirement #outcomes #situation #support
In the contemporary era
,
Accept space
,
after the retirement
,
Accept space
,
 the majority of individuals are migrating from their home
country
 to western countries.There are numerous reasons behind the statement and I will discuss about the reasons in the upcoming paragraphs.
First
 and Foremost reason behind it
,
Accept space
,
 the masses move for the educational purposes of their children.For illustration
,
Accept space
,
most of the Indonesians are migrating to Australia for the better education of their offsprings because they hold a view that the Australia has the
bestest
 education system as
compare
Suggestion
compared
 to the Indonesia.
Secondly
, some people leave their
country
 because
their
people in general
they
 suffer from the financial crisis.To elaborate
this
,
Accept space
,
to improve their economic status as well as to fulfil the family desires, they migrate in the other parts of the
country
 or the world. Scrolling
further
,
Accept space
,
the people face plethora's of problems due to the different culture
,
Accept space
,
traditions and lifestyles.In explanation
,
Accept space
,
the individuals must have to adjust themselves as like the
country
 's residents in which they move.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
most of the time it is too difficult.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
the western individuals face problems when they visit to India due to the
langauge
a systematic means of communicating by the use of sounds or conventional symbols
language
 distinction
aas
to the same degree (often followed by 'as')
as
 well as food In a nutshell, the advantages of moving outweigh the disadvantages.According to my own perception
,
Accept space
,
it totally relies on the individual's mentality what they want to
do
Accept comma addition
do, however
however
 I love to migrate in the
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 parts of the world or their home
country
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: