IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. discuss the causes of rising unemployment among young adults and suggest any solutions.

#school #leavers #jobs #unemployment #adults
It is true that there is a rapidly increasing proportion of unemployment among graduates.
This
 essay bellow will discuss the reasons and some possible measures that universities and individuals can take to address these problems. There are a number of factors which can be considered as the major causes of
this
 phenomenon. The biggest culprit of rising unemployment among young people is their lack of work experience and practical skill set. Fresh from high school or college, young job seekers generally have little, if any, hands-on experience, which employers are sought after. Obviously, most of theoretical knowledge they have obtained from the text is inadequate and hardly satisfactory consistent with the general practice in the workplace.
This
 weakness can be fatal at a time when the market has a strong preference for skilled and experienced applicants. The other major reason may be from the graduates’ perspectives. Students in Vietnam,
for example
, always hold an incomprehensible view of the labour market, and
as a result
, they only send application forms to positions which offer high salary and fast promotion.By doing
this
, it will prevent them from joining the workforce immediately. There are two effective solutions to the problem of unemployed young adults. One way to mitigate
this
 is to ensure that school curriculums are more focused on vocational training and skill teaching. By doing
this
, it will make students equipped with the necessary skills for their jobs as well as their lives. Another measure is that the government should amend economic policy in the direction of encouraging young people to start up by lending money from a range of support
such
 as crowdfunding sites, banks and so on. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various negative consequences of The young adults' jobless and appropriate steps need to be taken to tackle
this
 problem
Submitted by q.vinhlvt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: