IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
The bar chart below illustrates information about the total number of
minutes
 of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three types in 7
years
 from 1995 to 2002.
Overall
, the graph demonstrates data about the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone calls in Britain in three different sections:
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
, national and international, and local. It is clear from the bar chart that the local type accounted
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 rate in all 7
years
. In 1999, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minutes
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local calls took the highest proportion with 90
billion
minutes
. In the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1997, 1998 and 2000 the
amount
 of time for
public
Add an article
the public
a public
show examples
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 was high with 85, 89 and 83
minutes
 respectively. The
amount
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local was in low percentage with 72
billion
minutes
 for 1995 and 2002,
79
Correct word choice
and 79
show examples
billion
minutes
 for 1996 and 2001. Turning to 2 rest of the sections, the more
years
 were, the more calls were. In 2002, the calls had
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 proportion with 62
billion
minutes
 for national
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 and 40
billion
 for
mobiles
. From 1995 to 2001, the
amount
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
calls
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 high with 50, 56,
60
Correct word choice
and 60
show examples
billion
minutes
 for national calls and 10, 21,
38
Correct word choice
and 38
show examples
billion
minutes
 for
mobiles
 .
These
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 rest of the
years
 were in low
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 with 2, 4, 6,
9
Correct word choice
and 9
show examples
billion
minutes
 for
mobiles
 and 39, 41, 45,
49
Correct word choice
and 49
show examples
billion
minutes
 for national calls.
Submitted by pphh.ntt.hn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, years, mobiles, billion, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
What to do next:
Look at other essays: