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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the amount of money that a Kazakh charity organization spent and received in 2019.

The pie charts show the amount of money that a Kazakh charity organization spent and received in 2019.
#show #amount #money #kazakh #charity #organization
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The chart illustrates
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 capital which was paid out and earned in 2019 by a Kazakh charity organization. Units are measured in dollars and
percents
Replace the word
percentages
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.
Overall
, the amount of total cash that was received from revenue sources was slightly more than the total expenditures. Most of the capital came from Donated Food,
while
Program
 Services were a field where capital mostly was spent. In terms of the total money transfer, the charity had an
income
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 just over 0.3 million $, where Donated Foods
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 field with the largest
income
 (86.6%).
In contrast
,
share
Add an article
the share
show examples
 of
Program
 Services was
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 10% higher in comparison to Donated foods. The least expenditure in 2019 was observed for Management and General (1.6%),
while
 the least
income
 for a charity was given from Government Grants and Investment
Income
 and was equivalent to 0.2% out of the total amount of earnings. Community Contributions gave just over 10% of the total 53.5 million $ and
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
second
Correct article usage
the second
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popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 revenue source,
while
 earnings from
Program
 Revenue and Other
Income
 sections
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 2.2% and 0.4%, respectively. After
Program
 Services,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of money was paid out for Fundraising,
however
, the share of it was only 2.6%.
Submitted by 01kospanovv.a on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words program, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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