We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology, yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss.

#information #age #technology #people #lives

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The invention of

Use synonyms

internet

Suggestion

the internet

and the advancement of telecommunication devices have greatly affected people of today. In one side, these technologies have helped people in many

ways yet it

Suggestion

ways, yet it

also

Linking Words

created disadvantages. But

the most important

Suggestion

more importantly

most importantly

, there will always be an opportunity remains between the positive and the negative of it.

Information

Suggestion

The information age

age

Use synonyms

has created

tremendous change

Suggestion

a tremendous change

tremendous changes

Suggestion

human life. The technology like

Use synonyms

internet

Suggestion

the internet

and hand phone has

enable

Suggestion

enabled

people to do new things,

for

Linking Words

example socializing

Accept comma addition

example, socializing

with distant relatives and friends – which

also

Linking Words

make communication cheaper, facilitate people in their works, assist student to have more study resources, help people to know recent news, create new employment, etc. In short, today’s people are well connected in comparison to the previous era (20-30 years ago).

However

Linking Words

, if reflects to some studies or surveys, in

this

Linking Words

era people are more prone to stress.

Criminal rate

Suggestion

The crime rate

Crime rate

is increasing, people easily get stressful

Suggestion

into

workplace

Suggestion

the workplace

, and we

also

Linking Words

learned that divorce case is increasing. Critics

also

Linking Words

addressed to social media like Facebook or Twitter, judged by people that it only make people addicted

with

Suggestion

Use synonyms

internet

Suggestion

the internet

and forget the ‘real’ communication with

surroundings

Suggestion

the surroundings

. Parents are worrisome that their kids will neglect socialization with others because of

Use synonyms

internet

Suggestion

the internet

Suggestion

some point, information

age

Use synonyms

makes people happier and gets things

easier but

Accept comma addition

easier, but

it does not mean that all people are happy. There is no agreement that information

age

Use synonyms

and technology create a better and happy

live

Suggestion

life

. But to my subjective opinion information

age

Use synonyms

and technology

does create

Suggestion

do create

opportunity.

Suggestion

It's

then

Linking Words

back to

people

Suggestion

the people

to choose their choice on what benefit them and what not.

Submitted by phamnhatminh01 on Sun Apr 26 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

269 words

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We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology, yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free.

Some people think that online learning is more effective and convenient for student, while others believe that traditional classroom learning is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In your opinion, what incentives could be offered that would persuade more people to embrace electric cars? Support your answer with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.

At the present time, populations of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?