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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the percentages of electronics products used in UK homes in 2005 and 2008 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.

The table below shows the percentages of electronics products used in UK homes in 2005 and 2008 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.
The table compares the number of electronic devices, which comprised of TV, computer, microwave oven, washing machine,
video
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
recorder
Fix the agreement mistake
recorders
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, digital
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
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 and
humidifier
Fix the agreement mistake
humidifiers
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, were used in UK homes over four-year periods from 2005 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a noticeable increase in the amount of consumption
in
Change preposition
apply
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five electronics products from 2005 to 2008. Another
interested
Replace the word
interesting
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 point is that the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
video
Correct article usage
the video
show examples
Use synonyms
recorder
Fix the agreement mistake
recorders
show examples
 decreased over 4 years
while
Linking Words
 the
data
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 remained at the same time.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, compared to electronic devices in 2005, the percentages of washing machines are the highest
data
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, its figures stay constant at 95 in four years. It should be highlighted that
this
Linking Words
 percentage is
also
Linking Words
 the highest
data
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
It is clear that
Linking Words
video
Use synonyms
recorder
Use synonyms
 is the only
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
show examples
 which show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant reduction between 2005 and 2008. The percentages jumped from 82 % in 2005 to 65 %
in
Change preposition
apply
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four years later. What is more, the
data
Use synonyms
 on
video
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
recorder
Fix the agreement mistake
recorders
show examples
 in 2008 is the
second
Linking Words
 lowest
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
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. It's just behind the percentages of
humidifier
Fix the agreement mistake
humidifiers
show examples
, which is the lowest ones.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words video, recorder, data with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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