IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that a person’s intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss these views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence?

#people #person’s #intelligence #parents #environment #factor
People have different attitude about
cleverness
. While some of them believe that
intelligence
 is acquisitive, others
point
 out it is inheritable. Both sides will be discussed as below. An opinion asserting that the
intelligence
 is acquisitive. Advocates of
this
 opinion
point
 out that
way of
Accept comma addition
way, of
 upbringing has
significant effect
Suggestion
a significant effect
 on the level of
cleverness
.
This
 means that if parents make their children encounter with some mental challenges, their brain breed drastically better that children with lack of stimulus.
For example
, some games
such
 as chess and problem solving games would boost their mental abilities.
Moreover
, there are evidences that consuming nutrient foods
such
 as vitamins and minerals enhance
brain ability
Suggestion
the brain's ability
brain's ability
 which have substantial influence on
intelligence
 quality.
Also
, allocating time for children to play and speak to them is contributing factor that enhance
cleverness
.
Therefore
, approach of parents in bringing up their children ranging from consuming nutrients to play and time allocation for children would be beneficial for children to raise their
cleverness
. Opponents of the mentioned
point
 of view believe that
intelligence
 is inheritable. These supporters
point
 to the role of DNA and genes that transfer
intelligence
Suggestion
the intelligence
 from parents to children. They provide some examples that some clever or genius people have had clever parents.
Also they
Accept comma addition
Also, they
 assert that as the brain forms before the birth so that the
intelligence
 will be congenital and the environment do not have any effective role on
cleverness
. In
this
 regard, supporters present Einstein as an instance who was
inheritably
capable of being inherited
inheritable
 intelligent. In conclusion, it appears that both sides comprising of inherit and
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 are effective on
intelligence
 and their roles should not be neglected.
Submitted by ghazaleh.b60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!