Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
It is undeniable that deciding to live with friends and even alone in self-owned accommodation can be
more
preferable for most Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
in
these days. Even though some Change preposition
apply
people
believe that this
trend tends to have negative impacts on communities, I definitely disagree because of what are the benefits obtaining
by Wrong verb form
obtained
this
independent life.
First of all, living alone without relatives will inevitably encourage individuals becoming
more mature. Change the verb form
to become
Instead
of bringing out the drawbacks for societies, this
will contribute to positive development in both workplace productivity and communities itself. This
is mainly because people
with independent personality
are able to assist the company, organization and community in many sectors, and Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
this
can be seen in their responsibility to finish their owned
tasks without relying on their family. Replace the word
own
For instance
, Students in universities living far away from their family
tend to become responsible and even impactful Fix the agreement mistake
families
person
in the societies.
Another consideration Fix the agreement mistake
people
by
living alone will be the wide-ranged Change preposition
of
opportunity
for searching the jobs in which they have become an expert. It is widely known that many fresh-graduated students whose skills in various sectors have lived in the countryside. So beneficial is to allow them to live in Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
the
other cities Correct article usage
apply
that
they are able to work and contribute in their specific fields albeit far away from their hometown. Correct word choice
where
For instance
, many engineers and scientists in Indonesia decide to move and live alone to
for the sake of working in industrial areas Change preposition
apply
such
as Tangerang, Surabaya, Balikpapan and Jakarta.
In conclusion, how people
decide to live has been altered significantly. I believe this
will massively help individuals, especially the young in terms of building their nurture and providing the chance to contribute more in societies based on their expertise.Submitted by asmafauziah0 on
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively, especially in transitioning between paragraphs and providing a clear conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite