Should Children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.
Being competitive
as well as
cooperative is part of our life. Both play an essential role in our development since our childhood and the question that begs is whether it’s better to learn to be competitive or to collaborate with the
othersCorrect article usage
apply
?
It is unavoidable that competition takes part when we are children in many activities including exams where we need to excel in studies or in Change the punctuation
.
play
games where we try to win an athletic event. Replace the word
playing
Moreover
, competition can open the doors to an open mind and bring out potential talent which means that the challenges could develop our competence. Obviously, all of this
while
remaining in a healthy mind. However
, the negative aspect that rises
in the championship is the pressure on kids to do their best and Correct your spelling
arises
this
causes unnecessary stress. While
, well done, right
competition can help teenagers Correct article usage
the right
learning
skills they will use throughout their Wrong verb form
learn
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as searching a
job. The society is like an ocean with sharks where we need to fight to make our place.
Change preposition
for a
On the other hand
, it is good to encourage working together rather than against others. When we are kids, we learn to play together with
friends as a team, especially in sports including football, basketball or volleyball. As a result
, it will improve the quality of personal relationships, but also
communication skills with other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
one
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
last
one will play an important role in the
adult life, including Correct article usage
apply
a
partnership or Correct article usage
apply
team building
skills.
Add a hyphen
team-building
To sum up
, learning when it’s appropriate to become competitive and cooperative will be essential in the child’s education. But in an
adult Correct article usage
the
world
we tend to be more regardless Add a comma
world,
about
having a good place in Change preposition
of
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by sophia_caterina on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt. There is a lack of clear stance on whether children should be encouraged to be competitive or cooperative. The response could be more focused and directly address the given topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The structure of the essay could be improved to provide a stronger framework for the argument. Additionally, the overall flow of the essay could be enhanced to ensure clear and effective communication of the ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?